I read in one of my dog books to hang a bell near the door. You then train your puppy to ring the bell when she needs to go out. The Monks of New Skete suggest conditioning a puppy to noises--"make initial exposures gentle . . . let your pup get accustomed to the noise and movement in [her] own time."
I'll bet the authors didn't picture this scenario (edited for this post, but actually went on for close to two minutes) . . .